Please Don’t PAY Your Squatters 📦
Hi Frum Minimalists!!
You want to hear something crazy?
This kind of thing happens all the time.
But today I want to tell you about one specific woman from last week.
Story Time:☕
She called me. She moved cross-country and sent her stuff on a lift.
Now, if you ever sent a lift, or you know someone who sent a lift, or you have ever heard someone talk about a lift, you know there is usually this very weird waiting stage.
You are in your new home.
But your real stuff is not there yet.
So this woman was living in her new home with just the basics.
A few dishes.
A few pots.
A few outfits.
A few toys.
A few temporary things.
Basically, the bare necessities.
And then she realized something crazy.
She loved it.
Actually, she more than loved it.
She kind of did not want the rest of her stuff to come.
There was less to clean around.
Less to put away.
Less to search through.
Less to manage.
Less stuff screaming at her from every cabinet.
And then, instead of feeling excited for the lift to come, she panicked.
Because now she was thinking:
Wait.
Do I even want all that stuff back in my house?
And then she emailed me in full panic mode and basically said:
“Ellie, my lift is coming soon and I don’t even want all my stuff anymore. Why did I not know about Frum Minimalism before I moved?”
And I was like…
Oiyyyy.
And also, EXACTLY.
Because this is what happens.
So many women only realize after they pack, ship, lift, move, unload, unpack, and pay for everything that they did not actually want half the stuff.
They were just overwhelmed while packing.
So they said:
“Fine, pack it.”
“Just send it.”
“We’ll deal with it later.”
“It’s easier to take it.”
But my dear fellow Frum Minimalists…
“We’ll deal with it later” is not a moving plan.
READ THAT AGAIN.
“We’ll deal with it later” is not a moving plan.
It is just a very expensive way to avoid making a decision.
Because stuffing stuff into a box does not make the problem disappear.
It just postpones the decision.
Now the undecided thing is in a box.
With tape.
Hopefully with a label too.
And possibly taking a very expensive trip across the world.
No thank you.
Stuffing stuff into a box does not make the problem disappear.
It just postpones the decision.
Did You Know? 💡
One moving industry report says about 45% of all moves happen during peak moving season, usually May through August.
Meaning, if your neighbor is moving, your cousin is moving, your kallah niece is moving, your friend is making aliyah, and someone in your WhatsApp status is begging for boxes…
Now you know why.
And moving is stressful.
Like, officially stressful.
Research Time:
The Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale, which is a famous stress scale for major life events, includes change in residence as a stressful life event.
And a 2022 study on moving homes found that changing residence increases people’s overall stress levels.
Which again…
Shocking.
Very shocking.
LOL.
Who would have thought that putting your entire life into boxes, paying strangers to carry it away, trying to keep your children fed, finding your documents, changing your address, dealing with movers, and discovering six mystery bins in the attic would be stressful?
Honestly, anyone who has ever tried to find the tape, the scissors, the passports, and the baby’s pacifier while movers are standing in the doorway could have told the researchers for free.
But here is what I want you to understand.
Moving is not just stressful because there are boxes.
Moving is stressful because every single item in your house suddenly needs a decision.
Bring?
Toss?
Donate?
Sell?
Store?
Ask the landlord?
Give to a neighbor?
Put in a suitcase?
Send on the lift?
Keep with me personally because if this disappears into a random box I will actually lose my mind?
Moving forces decisions.
And when we are overwhelmed, we do not make great decisions.
We panic-pack.
We say:
“Just put it in.”
“We’ll deal with it later.”
“I don’t have koach for this now.”
“Maybe we’ll need it.”
“It’s expensive, so I guess we should take it.”
“It’s easier to bring it than decide.”
But easier now is not always easier later.
Because later, you are standing in your new home, surrounded by boxes, wondering why your brand-new start already feels heavy.
Because clutter with a new address is still clutter.
READ THAT AGAIN.
Clutter with a new address is still clutter.
If it was making your old home harder to manage, there is a very good chance it will make your new home harder to manage too.
It will just be doing it from a new closet.
Stuffing stuff into a box does not make the problem disappear.
It just postpones the decision.
And can we talk about the squatters?
Because some things in your house are basically squatters.
They live there rent-free.
They take up space.
They make cleaning harder.
They make putting things away harder.
They make your home harder to manage.
And now they want you to pay movers to bring them along?
Absolutely not.
We do not pay movers to relocate squatters.
READ THAT AGAIN.
We do not pay movers to relocate squatters.
The storage boxes that have been waiting since 2014.
The toy nobody has touched since two Chanukahs ago.
The appliance you take out once every three years.
The clothing that makes you feel blahhhhhh.
The random bins from the machsan that you keep promising yourself you will go through one day.
And now all of this wants a ticket?
Nope.
Not today.
And yes, I have stories.
Ohhhhh, do I have stories.
Furniture that went up on a lift and then could not fit through the front door.
Boxes that were packed so heavy the movers refused to take them.
People paying to ship things across the world and then realizing they did not even want them.
Things that got moved from house to house to house, FOUR TIMES and nobody even knew what was inside.
The lifts. The movers. The hallway.
The stroller being used as a moving truck.
The whole thing.
Moving is wild.
But moving is also THE BEST FRUM MINIMALIST opportunity.
Because your cabinets are being emptied anyway.
Your closets are being emptied anyway.
Your drawers are being opened anyway.
Your machsan, basement, attic, garage, or random scary storage area is finally being dealt with anyway.
So before you pack it, ship it, lift it, move it, unload it, unpack it, organize it, and give it a brand-new home…
Can we please ask if it actually deserves a ticket to your next home?
Homework Time 📦
If you are moving, thinking about moving, helping someone move, or have a friend, sister, neighbor, kallah, married child, parent, or anyone you love who is moving soon…
Send her this email.
Seriously.
This is not just for people zoche to move to Eretz Yisroel, although I am obviously biased and those are my favorites. :)
It is for anyone who is planning a move or helping with a move.
Across the ocean.
Across the country.
Across town.
Down the block.
Up one floor.
Into a temporary apartment.
Into a new dira.
Into a new house.
Into a smaller place.
Into a bigger place.
With a lift. With movers. With suitcases. With a truck.
With a trolley cart down the hallway.
Moving is moving.
And if you are moving, you need a plan.
Not a panic packing plan.
A real Frum Minimalism moving plan.
Because if you already paid for the squatter’s ticket, you still do not have to give it a bedroom.
P.S.
P.S. If you know someone who is moving, please forward this to her.
This might save her from paying movers to move things she does not even want.
Which is a real chesed.
Warmly,
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