Black Friday, Bitachon, and the Real Meaning of “Deals”

Hey Frum Minimalist :)

BEFORE TODAYS HOCK- ANNOUNCEMENT:

I’m going to be hosting a live Q&A all about the Home Reset Boot Camp.This isn’t a class or a training ,it’s just an opportunity to ask me your questions about the program and hear my answers directly.

If you’re interested in joining, email courses@frumminimalism.com with your questions and ask to be added to the update list for the time and details.

STORY TIME:

When I was 17 and had just gotten my license, my friends and I did what everyone in America was doing: Black Friday shopping. We were finally old enough to drive ourselves, and this was “the thing” to do.

We’d heard it all!

Doorbusters! Once-a-year prices! Don’t miss it!

So there we were at midnight, bundled in hoodies, music blasting, sipping hot cocoa as we sped down empty highways.

The store parking lots were packed. People stood outside in coats and gloves, some even camping out. The air smelled like coffee, new clothes, and cardboard boxes being ripped open. Sale signs screamed 70% OFF in bright red.

I threw things into my cart too: a fuzzy blanket (because it was soft), a sweater (because it was half off), a hair straightener I didn’t need but couldn’t “not buy” at that price. There was a weird high, like every purchase a tiny victory.

“Look! This was $49.99 and now it’s $14.99!”

We compared receipts, feeling proud, as if we’d outsmarted the system.

By sunrise, the trunk was full, our wallets empty, our brains buzzing. It felt like we’d won… until the next morning. I woke up to shopping bags everywhere. Clothes spilling out, receipts on the floor. That giddy feeling was gone.

I picked up a random top and thought, “Do I even like this? Or did I just like the idea of getting it?”

Most of what I bought, I didn’t need. Some things were even cheaper a few months later.

That’s when I realized something that has stuck with me ever since: I hadn’t saved money, I’d spent it trying to feel something. Excitement. Belonging. Control. The stuff wasn’t the point. The feeling was. And that feeling didn’t last.

The Psychology of “Deals”

Today it’s worse. Studies show over 60% of shoppers regret at least one Black Friday purchase, and 80% of those purchases are unplanned.

Researchers from the University of Bath found that sale signs trigger the same brain area as survival threats. Countdown clocks, “Only 3 left!” banners, these literally create panic- as though you are being threatened for your life!

Your brain floods with dopamine, a feel‑good chemical that tells you, If I get this now, I’ll feel better.

Spoiler: it never lasts. The high of buying something new lasts about 20 minutes. After that, your brain resets, leaving you wanting more.

That’s why clutter grows so quickly. We buy to soothe, to distract, to feel alive for a minute.

 Bitachon means trusting that Hashem will always provide, like He always has (based on the Gra Hakadosh)

There’s no “Shefa and Bracha! Limited-time only!” in Shamayim.

What’s meant for you won’t sell out.

Every time you say, “I’m good, I don’t need that,” you’re declaring your emunah.

You’re saying, “Hashem, I trust I already have what I’m supposed to have right now.”

Practicing Frum Minimalism helps build your bitachon.

We’re not just about decluttering drawers, we’re trusting Hashem enough to release control.

And, when we release excess, we make space for shefa.

When we stop chasing “deals,” we show our trust in Hashem.

IF YOU’RE STILL PLANNING TO SHOP

I’m not anti-shopping. I’m anti-mindless shopping.

Here’s what I do:

On my phone, I have something called a “Potential Purchase” folder.

Whenever I see something I think I want, a pretty sweater, a kitchen gadget, whatever… I take a picture of it and drop it in there.

Then I wait.

If, after a few days (or even weeks), I still want it and it’s on sale? Great. I can buy it guilt-free.

But 9 times out of 10, by the time I check back, I’ve totally lost interest.

It’s amazing how many “must-haves” turn into “why did I even want that?” once we slow down.

Another thing that helps me: I never shop without a list.

Not a mental list, a written one.

When I go into a store, I tell myself I can only buy what’s on it.

No “quick detours,” no “but it’s on sale!”

SO BEFORE YOU CLICK “ADD TO CART”…

Here’s what I want you to do this year:

• Would I buy this if it wasn’t on sale?

• Where will this live in my house next week?

• How will this purchase serve me a month from now?

Buy what you need. Buy what you planned for.

Just don’t waste money on things you’re grabbing “because it’s on sale.”

That’s not smart spending.

And, if you’re going to invest in something, invest in something that gives you results every single day, not something that sits and collects dust in a closet.

My course is a small investment that gives you results every day.

STUDENT STORY:

Last year, one of my students messaged me on Cyber Monday. “Ellie,” she wrote, “I was sitting with my laptop open, about to buy a $400 air fryer and a bunch of ‘deals.’ Then I saw your email about the Home Reset Boot Camp. I closed every tab and signed up instead.”

Two months later she told me, “That was the best decision I’ve ever made. I didn’t just declutter my house. I decluttered all aspects of my life. My marriage feels calmer, my mornings run smoother, I’m a better mother, and I actually have time to think again.”

THE BEST INVESTMENT

My 5‑week Frum Minimalism Home Reset Boot Camp costs less than a few Black Friday impulse buys, but what you gain isn’t another item, it’s a transformation that lasts.

Just yesterday, I got this voice note from a woman who finished the Home Reset Boot Camp.

This is slightly edited for clarity, but the words and message are hers:

“I don’t know if you’re going to hear this, but if Hashem wants you to hear it, you’ll hear it.

I did something crazy today. I finished your course , I’m like 99% through, and I realized the information is now all in my head. It changed me.

When life feels out of control, I remind myself that my home takes me 20 minutes to reset. Even if the kids don’t help, I can still do it. And it’s not surface-clean, it’s actually clean.

When I’m in the shower, I clean the shower. When I wash my hands, I clean the sink. If I have a few minutes, I bleach the toilets. My home stays calm because of the way you taught me to think.

I’m just so lucky and so grateful. Everything in my life lately has been aligning, and this course was the start. It helped me with my emunah, my bitachon, and not being codependent.

I wish every woman had this in her life. If you’re overwhelmed, the first thing you need is to get some control back, and you can do that by getting rid of your junk.

Thank you. Really. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re amazing.”

And just to show you what this work looks like behind the scenes…

Today I did a couple of phone calls with students, and after one call I got an email.

She wrote:

“Ellie… I cannot believe you actually speak on the phone to your students.

I know you have the WhatsApp group, I’ve heard amazing things….but I don’t even have WhatsApp.

I was honestly shocked that you picked up the phone, called me, and just… talked to me.

Hearing how you live this and breathe this- oh my! It’s not just something you teach in the course, the stories you shared with me during our 20-minute chat… you are all in!

This is literally how you live every day.

I’m so excited about all the progress I’m making. This has been life-changing.”

I get messages like this constantly because when I say this work , I mean it.

This is the level of change I want every frum woman to have access to.

This is what happens when you reset your home, your whole life resets with it.

You’ll learn how to declutter your home, quiet your mind, simplify your schedule, and finally feel that deep menuchas hanefesh you’ve been craving. You’ll save money by stopping random purchases. You’ll free up your evenings and mornings. You’ll create space for more of what you love, better shalom bayis, and quality time with your children.

Investing in your growth isn’t indulgent. 

It’s smart. It’s sustainable. It’s spiritual.

You’ve done the sales. Now it’s time to do you.

Ps. Can you forward this to one person who would appreciate it? Thanks!

PPS. If you didn’t get a chance to read the email I sent two days ago, click here. The feedback was unbelievable, I think you’ll love it too!